CHI Announces New Subsidiary: Apex Airways

Apex Airways Takes to the Skies
People on the ground check flight paths in terror

Cash Heavy Industries — now the third-largest global conglomerate of its type — is proud to announce its newest corporate venture, Apex Airways.

“Apex Airways is the global carrier that touches you personally,” said CHI’s vice-president of transport services, Lester Turow. “With Apex, CHI’s sinewy tentacles extend even further across the globe.”

Minot CentralApex Airways provides air travel across the world using its two centrally-located United States hubs. Its foreign codeshare and alliance partners provide the muscle to get Apex customers into those hard-to-reach places.

CHI investors will find much to like about the Apex philosophy. Apex is segmenting the market into tinier and tinier pieces. Apex just launched MiddleClass — a product that’s an instant hit with our aspirational customers. MiddleClass offers an all-middle seats product at a premium price. “Our ultimate goal with market segmentation is to offer a different, profitable price point for every single seat on the plane. We are also experimenting with segmenting individual seats, for those customers who do not need to purchase an entire seat,” said Turow. “Fractional seat ownership is the next great wave, and Apex Airways is surfing that wave right to the top!”

Another differentiator for Apex is its absence from staid, traditional airline organizations like Airlines for America (A4A), the IATA, the ICAO, the Federal Aviation Administration, the Internal Revenue Service, and others. Apex believes its customers appreciate its “regulation-light” approach to air travel. Why should customers pay for government services they do not use? Turow: “Spirit isn’t the only air carrier chafing at the strain of government regulation. But Apex is the only carrier that does something about it — passing the savings on to customers.”

Apex Airways aspires to be an “always-on” brand. You can reach Apex on all of its customer channels: the Apex Airways web site, @ApexAirways on Twitter, on Facebook as Apex Airways, or by using a Touch-Tone-compatible phone on its fully automated phone line, 844-400-APEX (2739).

So fly over to the new Apex Airways sites and learn where Apex will be taking you!

Certain forward-looking statements of Cash Heavy Industries may be present in this posting but this is to be expected as CHI never looks back. CHI bears no shame for its history. All that can be expected is the remorseless swing of the Grim Reaper’s scythe. CHI. CHI. CHI. It is inevitable.

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